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Luna Caged: Behind the Wall
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LUNA CAGED
Copyright © 2019 Margaret McHeyzer
All rights reserved.
ISBN-13: 978-0-6483670-3-1
This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be stored or reproduced by any process without prior written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.
Cover Design: Book Cover by Design
Editor: Debi Orton
Interior Formatting by Tami Norman, Integrity Formatting
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email: [email protected]
I often stare at the walls and wonder what’s beyond them.
The Elders tell me that nothing but sin, sadness, and disease lie beyond the wall.
Sometimes I hear things, noises that are strange to me. They’re often faint, and when I ask the Elders what those sounds are, they tell me they are the tortured souls of thousands of people behind the gates of hell. I don’t know what they mean.
I dream of leaving these walls, but the Elders insist this is the only place we’re safe. They talk about danger, hatred, and the devil himself waiting just beyond. They tell us the walls were built to keep us safe.
Although I believe the Elders, I want to see the outside world for myself.
But there’s no way out.
Or so I thought…
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Also by Margaret McHeyzer
Ducking my head, I hope my hair hides my face.
“Luna, what are you doing?” the Elder asks.
“Gettin’ in line,” I explain. “I want to go where they go.” I point to the line of boys in front of me.
The Elder laughs and shakes his head. He leans down to look at me. “Girls don’t go where the boys go.” He points to the line. “Girls don’t need to be taught anything but how to cook, clean, and look after the men.”
I stare up at him. I can feel my bottom lip quiver and my eyes well with tears. “But I want to learn too,” I say in a small voice.
He places his big hands on my shoulders and turns me around. “Off you go. Get back to your chores,” he says as he pushes me then gives me a light smack on the bottom. Not a hard one, just hard enough to hurry me along.
I do a small jump when he smacks me, and turn to look at the line as it advances into the building. There’s a word above the door, but I don’t know what it says, of course. I can’t read. Girls aren’t allowed to read. It’s one of the Elders’ rules. Mommas and Sisters can’t read, neither can any girl. But I want to learn, and the Elders always tell me I don’t need to. I just need to learn how to clean properly, how to cook, and how to look after the men.
Turning, I notice Cain, shuffling along at the back of the line. He keeps looking at me, then back at the line. His brows are scrunched together as the line continues. “Elder Tom, why can’t Luna learn with us?” he asks the Elder who hurried me away.
“Because we’re men, and the men need to learn. But the girls aren’t smart like us. They don’t require it.”
Cain lowers his head, and steps forward before lifting his face to look at Elder Tom. “Are they different than us?” he asks.
“Yes. They’re girls. They don’t have the same intelligence as us.”
Cain lowers his head again.
“But why?” I ask, a little too loud. “Why aren’t we as smart as you?” I quickly cup my hand to mouth, ashamed for asking.
“Luna.” Elder Tom’s face is angry when he notices I’m still here. He strides to me in deliberate, large steps. He grabs my shoulders, and shakes me as he pulls me forward to meet his angry stare. “Even if we did want to teach you, you’re too dumb to learn. You proved it, because you obviously can’t follow instructions. Girls are girls, and not as smart as men. Now get out of here!”
My shoulders droop. “Am I stupid?” I ask.
“All girls are,” he responds in an even voice. “But we’re men, and it’s our job to look after you.” A tear breaks free, and rolls down my cheek. “Go. I don’t want to have to report this.” He touches my nose slightly, smiles and turns. “Now class,” he states to all the boys as he walks back toward the line, “let’s go.”
Cain looks toward me and sees me struggling to hold in my tears. He looks sad too. My shoulders slump and I turn to walk away. Why can’t I learn? It’s not fair.
I head back to the big house and find Sister Lorraine. She’s on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor. I’m still sad, but I can’t really do anything about it. “Do you need help, Sister?” I ask as I automatically begin helping her without an answer.
“Thank you, Luna.” She smiles at me, then quickly goes back to scrubbing the floor with the big brush.
My mind is going everywhere but here. I sit back on my heels and stare out to the common area, in front of the big house. “What’s that?” I ask as I gape at the big round piece of wood sticking up in the middle of the dirt oval.
“You always ask too many questions, Luna. Best get back to work,” Sister Lorraine says as she continues cleaning the floors.
“But no one ever tells me anything and I’ve always wondered what that is.”
Sister stops for a moment, and carefully looks around. She leans in and whispers as quietly as possible, “It’s a whipping post. But the Elders haven’t had to use it for a while.”
A whipping post? I don’t know what that is. “What’s a whipping post?” I ask with a tone matching hers.
“If we do something wrong, they tie us to it, and hit us.”
I gasp as I flinch back. “I don’t want to do anything wrong. Will they hit me?” More tears sting my eyes, but I do my best to hold them in.
“Not if you’re a good girl. Come on now, we have to hurry up.” She urges me with her eyes to keep scrubbing the floor.
When the floor is done, I help Sister up and we start toward the kitchen. I follow so I can help her.
“Luna!” I hear from behind me.
“Hi Cain,” I reply as I turn to see him standing with a huge grin on his face.
“Let’s go play,” he says and bounces on the spot.
“I can’t. I have to help Sister Lorraine.”
“Cain asked you to go, Luna. He’s a man, so you have to go,” Sister says.
“Okay.” I shrug my shoulders.
Cain is already running out the door, and I’m close behind him. He keeps running, until we reach the edge of the meadow. There’s a huge wall there that’s as tall as the sky. If I look up, I can’t see where it ends. “Where are we going?” I ask. Cain stops, and he’s puffing. He pulls out a little book from inside his pants and gives me the goofiest look on his face. “Is that a real book?” I ask, my eyes bulging with excitement. Cain’s told me about them. I’m so excited.
“It is.” Cain’s smile is as big as what mine feels like.
He sits beneath one of the large trees, and starts flipping through the book. In my eagerness, I can barely sit still. “Can I touch it?” I
ask as I hesitantly reach out to feel it.
“Here. I’m going to teach you how to read.”
My mouth falls open, and I’m so happy I start to cry. I want to hug Cain, but the Elders would be angry if I did that. Boys and girls aren’t allowed to touch unless the men are disciplining the girls, or unless we’re serving the Elders. “Really?” I ask.
“Yeah, here.” He flips the first page open, and there’s a picture of an apple and a word.
“That’s an apple,” I say.
“Yep. Apple starts with A, the sound A makes is like this. Ah… ah.”
“Ah,” I mimic him.
“That’s so good, Luna. Now this here is a bus.”
“A what?” I ask staring at the strange yellow picture on the page.
“A bus. The first letter is B and the sound it makes is like ba, like a sheep.”
“Oh, ba. Ba. Ba,” I practice.
“Yes!” he says and claps when I get the sound right.
“But what’s a bus?” I ask.
He shrugs his shoulders. “The Elders didn’t tell us. I asked once, and the men in the class started snickering. The Elders said we don’t need to know right now.”
“Oh.” My gaze drifts away from the page, and I look toward the wall. “I want to know what a bus is, and what it does. Don’t you?”
He shrugs again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Standing, I head straight to the wall. Leaning against it, I huff in frustration. “Why are they always telling us not to ask questions?”
“Luna.” Cain stands and dusts off his dirty pants. “Stop it. You’re going to get into so much trouble.”
“But I want to know what’s happening out there. I can hear noises. Sometimes at night, when it’s quiet, I can hear things happening. All I want to do is go out there and see what’s making the noises.”
Cain’s shaking his head. “You can’t. There are only bad people out there. They’ll kill you. Or hurt you. Please, Luna, don’t ask any more questions. The Elders will get angry.”
Something inside me shrinks, like it always does when I’m told to stop asking questions.
“What is going on here?” the voice is deep and booms from across the field. I look up to see Elder Steven coming toward us. His strides are large and angry. His face, even though he’s not close, is red and furious. “What is going on?” he blasts again.
I don’t like Elder Steven. He scares me the most out of all the Elders. “Noth-nothing,” I stutter as I cower with my back against the wall.
“What’s this?” He snatches the book out of Cain’s hands, but his livid eyes are set on me. He flicks through the book. “What is this?” The rage in his voice now matches his face.
“We were just…” Cain starts saying, but Elder Steven silences him with a glare.
“I’m not asking you, son. I’m asking this witch,” Elder Steven says in a gentler voice to Cain. He flips his anger back to me. “What are you doing?”
These tears are because I’m terrified of Elder Steven. “I’m sorry,” I offer without even knowing what I’m sorry for.
Elder Steven steps forward, grabs me by the arm and starts marching me back to the main house. He’s walking so fast, I have to run to keep up with him. Cain is closely following us.
“It’s not her fault, Elder Steven. I wanted to show her what a book is,” he tries to explain.
Elder Steven is furious. “It’s alright, son. I know it’s her fault.”
I want to say something, but the hard hand on my arm tells me to remain quiet and not complain or cry. But I can’t help the tears. They’re falling on their own.
We get to the main house, and Elder Steven shoves me toward the whipping post. I fall to my knees, scraping them on the hard-packed earth.
“I’m sorry,” I cry as I bury my face into my hands.
“Men and girls!” Elder Steven summons. Peeking out between my fingers, I notice everyone is gathering around us. What is happening? Why is he yelling for everyone? “Go and tell the other Elders we’re about to have a whipping,” Elder Steven says to some of the other men.
Crying, I try and stop my shaking. “I’m sorry,” I keep saying.
Everything is happening in slow motion. Everybody is making their way out to the center.
“Get up,” Elder Steven snaps at me.
Slowly, I stand to my feet but refuse to look up at anyone. I don’t want to meet their eyes. I’m so afraid.
“What we have here is a girl who thinks she has the right to learn to read.”
I hear a collective gasp. Looking up, I see the men standing to one side, and the girls are standing on the other.
“We have rules. And the rules are easy. Girls are to look after the men and the house. No girl has the intellect to understand what we do.” The men snicker and nod their heads. The girls do the same thing. “Turn and face the post.” Slowly, I turn. “Wrap your hands around it.” I try, but I can’t reach all the way around. “If you move, you’ll get three more strikes.”
My tears are falling fast now, and I’m sobbing in fear. I don’t know what’s going to happen.
“This is why the girls don’t get an education.”
The sound is what happens first. The slam of something on my back happens second. I scream in agony. It stings, and it’s hurting. It feels like a hot rod is melting into my back. I barely catch my breath, when it happens again.
And again.
And again.
I’m just barely standing, and my back is burning in pain. “You will not try to trick another man into teaching you how to read, will you, Luna?” Elder Steven asks.
The stinging is so severe and I’m sobbing so hard, I can’t catch my breath. I shake my head in reply.
“Girls are not able to learn. That’s why we’ve created this God’s Haven for you, so you’re not taken advantage of out there where only death, poverty and disease is waiting for you. We are your family. Beyond the wall is death. Beyond the wall is evil. You will die if you leave. Only we can protect you,” he says loudly.
Everyone is nodding.
“Next time you use your girlish charm to trick a man, I’ll have you stoned to death.”
“I’m sorry,” I cry again. I’m still not sure what I did. All I know is I’ve been punished for it.
Elder Steven leaves me heaped on the ground in an absolute mess. Sister Holly comes over to me, and helps me up. “You brought this on yourself, Luna.” She shakes her head as she helps me walk into one of the smaller houses. She takes me into a bedroom, lays me on my stomach and tends to my wounds. “You have to know, we’re not like the Elders. We’re not as smart as they are. Anyway, why do you want to learn? Learning is only for the men.”
“Sister Holly?” I hear Cain’s voice from the door.
Turning, I see him watching me.
“Yes, Cain?” Sister replies.
“I need to talk to Luna.”
Sister Holly stands, gives him a nod, and leaves. He rushes over to where I’m lying, and gently reaches out to me. “I don’t want to get in trouble again,” I say pulling my hand back when he’s nearly touching me.
He quickly retracts his hand, and lowers his eyes. “I’m sorry, Luna. I tried to tell them it was my fault, but they said as a man, it’s never our fault. I’m sorry, really sorry.” I watch as a tear falls by his feet.
“Please…” I say as I turn my head. “Just go.”
I hear him back away. Then he says in a small voice, “I don’t care what the Elders say. I’m going to teach you to read, because I know it’s the right thing to do. I promise. But I’ll figure out a way to do it so we never get caught again.”
I blink the tears away and don’t respond.
Why is it so bad to learn?
I don’t understand.
“Are you excited?” Cain asks as we lay on the ground, looking up at the huge wall that encloses the Haven and keeps the world out.
“I don’t know. What am I supposed to be excited
for?”
“You’ll be of age soon. That’s a huge deal.”
The sinking feeling in my stomach says it all. “Nope.” I reach my hand out to meet his pinky. These are the only time we can touch, and even still we have to be careful not be caught by the Elders.
Since my first whipping when I was younger, I’ve been whipped twice more. Once because Cain and I were hugging, and the other time because I asked Elder William about the outside and he was sick of me asking about what happens beyond the wall.
“Maybe they’ll marry us,” Cain says bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Not unless you’ve become an Elder.” I let out a deep sigh, and reach further to hold his hand. “I don’t want to be of age, and I don’t want to get married to an Elder, and I don’t want to have babies.”
“But, that’s your job. That’s what girls are supposed to do.” Even his disappointed tone doesn’t like what he’s saying.
“Cain, if you could leave, would you?” I ask trying to change the somber conversation of my impending marriage to an Elder.
“There’s nothing outside for us, Luna. It’s all sickness and death.”
“I know that’s what they keep telling us, but I want to see what’s outside. Don’t you?”
Cain huffs, and his fingers tighten around my hand. “I just want to be somewhere we can be together, without the Elders watching us, and beating you when we’re caught.”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen in here,” I say in a small voice.
He sighs again. “I know.” The sadness in his voice is enough for me to know how much he loves me. He’s always loved me, like I’ve always loved him.
“I don’t want to get married to an Elder,” I say again. I look up the wall, and watch as a bird flies over. “I wish I had wings. Because if I did, I’d already be out of here. With you.”
“There’s nothing out there for us. Here we’re safe and cared for.”
“But how do you know what’s out there? Unless you’ve seen it for yourself, you can’t be sure.”
“I’ve seen pictures in books,” he tries to convince me.
“But the books are provided by the Elders. What if there is something? What if there’s more out there than what they say?”